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IrishEyes, or anyone who gets a feel for this


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#1 IrishMyst04

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Posted 04 February 2014 - 06:14 PM

Sometimes, I feel like a broken squeaky wheel and as I sit here and type I can hear myself say, "quit your whining and get on with living". Yet knowing and doing are 2 separate entities.

Tomorrow is Michael's birthday, he would have been 26, and as with the anniversary of his death did, once again all the rumors are beginning to swirl again. Even coming from a police officer who is dating a friend of my daughters. He was murdered on purpose becasue people were afraid that he was going to talk about the what he knew about there drug business. he wouldn't have though and they should have known that. Once again, another very close friend of Michael's has told us there is money somewhere and once again we have no idea where.

All I know for sure, is I want him back and Christopher too. I know that will never happen. I just miss them so much, right now Michael because of his birthday. I cannot find my way to them. I did before with help and then again on my own, but they are just out of reach and i start doubting, well everything. Michael's friends look to me to help them and even my other children and I have nothing to offer.

If anyone gets a feel for him, please let me know. He was always very secretive and I fear he will be so in the after life. I just need to hear something, anything from him, especially about his death and the issue with money...it is driving me crazy to constantly tell people there was no money, yet to hear his best friends say yes, he hid it. Is he at peace, is he happy at last, is he with Christopher?

Thanks so much for listening/reading.

#2 sparrowsays

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Posted 06 February 2014 - 10:20 AM

Heya IrishMyst, I am not a medium per se, but wanted to say 'hey' and 'hang in there.' If there's money to be found, and it is for you, then surely it will be revealed. I get the word paste...something that connects and holds things together...and I feel a sense of sluggishness and tension, which may be an odd pairing for you. Also a month starting with the letter A, as in April or August...feels like the former. So, perhaps some of the clues will show up in April...or is August or April some kind of anniversary for you/your son (?)

Hope this helps,
sparrow

#3 IrishMyst04

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Posted 06 February 2014 - 09:33 PM

Thanks Sparrow,

I appreciate your responding.

If there was money, I would pay off his/our credit card and then give the rest away.....I am sure that is what he would want. Just drives me crazy to hear all the same rumor and have no where to go with it.

Paste.......not sure at all what you mean by this.

Sluggishness and tension in regards to? me? I was less than a year ago diagnosed with an auto immune disease and have been tired (with all the meds I am on, I am not surprised. Tension? again in regards to me?

April is my husbands birth month but has nothing to do with either MIchael of Christopher (he was my oldest son who died 2 years before Michael) As for August, the only thing that comes to mind his that Michael's best friend, who was born in Aug, exactly 6 months after Michael, they hung out in the playpen together while there older brothers played around them. Other than that, I can't think of anything else.

Thanks so much for responding,

#4 sparrowsays

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Posted 07 February 2014 - 11:14 AM

no time to chat this morning...but I will try to get a read on what 'paste' might mean for you in a bit, maybe a day or two?...
sparrow

#5 IrishEyes

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Posted 07 February 2014 - 12:01 PM

Hi IM,

Just to let you know that I got your message and will get back to you soon.

Peace,

IrishEyes

#6 sparrowsays

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Posted 08 February 2014 - 11:49 AM

View PostIrishMyst04, on 06 February 2014 - 09:33 PM, said:

Thanks Sparrow,

I appreciate your responding.

If there was money, I would pay off his/our credit card and then give the rest away.....I am sure that is what he would want. Just drives me crazy to hear all the same rumor and have no where to go with it.

Paste.......not sure at all what you mean by this.

Sluggishness and tension in regards to? me? I was less than a year ago diagnosed with an auto immune disease and have been tired (with all the meds I am on, I am not surprised. Tension? again in regards to me?

April is my husbands birth month but has nothing to do with either MIchael of Christopher (he was my oldest son who died 2 years before Michael) As for August, the only thing that comes to mind his that Michael's best friend, who was born in Aug, exactly 6 months after Michael, they hung out in the playpen together while there older brothers played around them. Other than that, I can't think of anything else.

Thanks so much for responding,

Sorry that all I provided was an off-the-cuff read...didn't go too deeply, thought that either the words would mean something to you or not...and I see that IrishEyes will be reading for you, so I know that you are in good hands now.

The paste...the glue that holds all of your life-elements together...might be about you and your spiritual practice. What are you incorporating into your life these days that will help you with your answers, etc.? Again, I only picked up light nudges...
sparrow

#7 IrishMyst04

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Posted 08 February 2014 - 01:37 PM

The glue that holds all my life-elements together.....hmmm I am trying to meditate more, was looking into somehow balancing my chakras, which I think are pretty much off. I am finding too much noise makes me crazy as I am trying to retreat into myself, find that????? something that I once had, peace, openness? I am not sure. Life has been a roller coaster and I feel like I am drowning, yet trying to find inner balance.

Last night I went to sleep asking Michael to come to me and instead when I woke up about 8 ish and decided to go stay in bed ( I am in Florida by myself until my daughter gets here tonight and my sister and niece gets here tomorrow morning) so I decided to be lazy, Also had a bad flare up from stress and aggravation from traveling) and indulge myself. I went back to a light sleep, the kind where you are asleep but not deeply and dreamt about Christopher, not Michael.

Thanks again sparrow, I will think about this more and let you know what insight I gleam from it all. I know I need to find my way back to my center, just having a hard time doing it. Missing Christopher and Michael fill my every thought.

Thanks again.

#8 IrishEyes

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Posted 08 February 2014 - 08:49 PM

Hi IrishMyst,

The image that I pick up is you sitting at a kitchen table, thinking you are alone. In fact, both your sons sit with you at the tables
- one sits right up close to the table (the one with darker hair) while the other one (with lighter hair) sits far back from the table to have room for his legs. The message that I get for you is that you cannot see them, but they are certainly there with you. They understand how much you miss them - and they miss you too, seeing you in the physical and giving you a hug. But they are with you every day, in fact, you are really never alone.

I am wondering if you have done any past life work (I know Millie is a regression expert, may be you want to contact her for a session) because what they are telling me is that in a previous life, you were all warriors together, it looks like France, and you three were literally knights in armor. In that lifetime, you were brothers in arms, and you died to save them, so in that lifetime, you sacrificed your physical life to save theirs. Do you have any connections in this life to medieval France, or to knights? Were you ever fascinated by knights or armor? Because they are saying there is a thread there - and in this lifetime, you are still a renowned warrior, except now the battle is not against an obvious enemy. In this lifetime, you carry a warrior's heart into battle against lifeplans where your sons were destined to leave the physical plane early - this is NOT payback for anything, rather this is the test of a strong and noble soul (yours) out there on the field of real life. I think you are an inspiration to your community - do you know that people often think, "I can get through this thing - if she can keep going after those losses, I can certainly keep going through this little thing." You were a renowned and honored warrior in a previous life, and you still have that courage, that integrity, that noble spirit in this life. Your sons are with you - and so are 3 others from your family who have passed, these 3 look like parents/grandparents. They check in with you often too.

Regarding Michael - he is certainly more quiet than Christopher. What he says about the money was that he was playing a game - he was dealing with people who only respected money, so he pretended to have more than he actually did, it was so he could play the game with them. He did not hide or secret any large sums anywhere - that was part of the illusion. Nobody forced him to take anything the day he died - there was no murder, no forcing of anything. There was a mistake made on dosage, but he truly has no ill will against anyone, he has no vengeance in him and he appreciates all that was done to help and then honor him after his passing. This was not a suicide, but it was also not a murder - it was a mistake, or a series of mistakes. He says there was another overdose around that time, and that person pulled through, but just barely and could easily have died too, except they got help fast. Michael talks about a book that he treasured, do you still have it? That book is a first edition, and is worth something now, so please look it up on bookfinder or a book website to see its value. He is sorry he did not have more money to leave you, that's a real regret, and he is going to work on people on this side to leave you alone and stop the rumors about money, he really did not have that much, but had to pretend to have some to stay in the company he was keeping, as bad as that was. Did you recently buy flowers for him, or see flowers and think of him, because he holds out white roses to you and this is often a symbol for real flowers on the physical plane. He says he could not have picked a better Mom, and he is so very glad that he picked you! He also says that he heard every word that you said to him in the hospital - you spoke to him when he was a newborn, and you said something very similar when he was leaving this plane of existence, and all these words are a part of him, like they are written on his soul. When he sees you again on the next plane, he will get the chance to say them to you, and you will know its' really him - because he looks so much better now than when he passed, its rather unbelievable to him how well he looks now, and you will be amazed! He has been doing work on his soul, and learning how to recognize more goodness in people, and how to overcome addictions and needs to medicate - that will not be part of his existence from this time forward, and he owes you a huge thank you for giving him the lifetime that let him learn that! He has fought addiction/alcohol in the last 4 lifetimes, each one ending young on this plane, but this last life was the last time, and he is now preparing to be a counselor to the addicted, a guide for those seeking a way out of that dark hell. Without the lifetime you helped him to have, he could not do that, so many thanks Mom for everything, you have no idea how important this was to his soul work, or to the many thousands that he will help. What seems to be meaningless and wrong on this plane is translated into soul gifts and lessons on the next plane. He is sorry for the deep, deep pain that he caused you, that was never his intention, but is a marker of the very strong love between you both that can and will never die because you knew each other before you got here, and you will know each other again when you meet again.

Christopher is talking about your knees - are you taking good care of your knees? That is his issue with you. He's grateful that you are taking better care of yourself, but please get more advice/a second opinion about your knee or knees - there are injections now that can help and mean that you don't have to have the big surgery if you don't want to. And please please please go out with the girls and have time out of the house - it's great to hear you laugh and to see you in company again, and hey, if a nice man comes over and says hi, know that Christopher nudged him and gave him some courage, and he's OK, really!

They send you lots of love, and if you cannot see them around you, please know that they can see and hear you, and please keep talking to them. They are both working on ways to let you know that they are around - I think Christopher will nudge people to approach you and Michael will use flowers, and flowers in strange places, and surprise gifts of flowers to keep letting you know of his presence and his love.

Truly, you are never alone. And you are very much loved. And you are a beacon of courage in a world that needs it very much.

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart, and you NEVER walk alone.

I hope this helps. Please send any questions that you have. I can tell you that I had a cold feeling along my back writing this post, which has become a sign to me of spirit presence, so they really wanted my attention this evening!

Peace,

IrishEyes

#9 IrishEyes

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Posted 16 February 2014 - 06:28 PM

Hi IM,

Just pinging you to let you know I did respond.

I hope all is well.

Peace,

IE

#10 sparrowsays

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Posted 16 February 2014 - 06:45 PM

Yeah, I see you IrishEyes! Sometimes we post the most beautiful things, and there's no comment for a while...busy people, busy lives?! Not entirely sure. But, I C U!!! :D

#11 sparrowsays

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Posted 16 February 2014 - 06:48 PM

Heya IrishMyst, my note to IE was not to diss you...just saying "hello" to a fellow reader on her path..."may the road rise up to meet (both of) you" IM and IE! B)

#12 IrishMyst04

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Posted 20 February 2014 - 08:44 PM

Hello,

Sorry but I was actually away for 2 weeks and the internet was iffy at best. Thank you both for responding, you both touched my heart and soul. I would like to sit back a bit and re read this and calm down a wee bit, esp after your response Irisheyes, WOW.....
WIll get back to you both tomorrow as right now, I need some sleep and time.

From the bottom of this broken heart, I truly appreciate you Sparrow and Irisheyes, you are gifts that I treasure.

And I would never intentionally ignore anyone....lol

I also want to post this weird dream I had while I was away...it was bizarre to say the least.
Till tomorrow.

#13 sparrowsays

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Posted 21 February 2014 - 09:37 AM

View PostIrishMyst04, on 20 February 2014 - 08:44 PM, said:

Hello,

Sorry but I was actually away for 2 weeks and the internet was iffy at best. Thank you both for responding, you both touched my heart and soul. I would like to sit back a bit and re read this and calm down a wee bit, esp after your response Irisheyes, WOW.....
WIll get back to you both tomorrow as right now, I need some sleep and time.

From the bottom of this broken heart, I truly appreciate you Sparrow and Irisheyes, you are gifts that I treasure.

And I would never intentionally ignore anyone....lol

I also want to post this weird dream I had while I was away...it was bizarre to say the least.
Till tomorrow.

What a great note IM...glad that you took my words in the right way...the loving way, as I intended. Namaste.
sparrow

#14 IrishEyes

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Posted 21 February 2014 - 11:44 AM

Hi IrishMyst,

Glad to hear that you are OK, glad to hear that you got some time away.

Please do post your dream, and also any questions. Your sons are around you, and want to help you, so ask anything that you need to ask and we will see what they say.

Peace,

IrishEyes

#15 IrishMyst04

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Posted 21 February 2014 - 09:39 PM

Once again, I read your message Irisheyes and cried. I hate to do this but I think I need more time on this one. I read it to my daughter and she cried too. We are super busy right now, the memorial foundation that was set up for Christopher is having it's annual fundraising event this Sun and every time I sit down and try to process all this, I get more upset. I want to do justice to you when I respond, so I ask for the gift of time. Between being stretched thin and already emotional, I think I am on over load. I hope to get some peace and quiet on Monday to post the dream and respond to this.
Irisheyes, if my daughter has a question, can I ask it for her?

God Bless you both, I am humbled in your presence.

#16 IrishEyes

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Posted 22 February 2014 - 12:29 AM

Dear IrishMyst,

My dear, please do what you need to do. Any timeframe works. Any post works. Please feel free to post your daughter's question at any time.

Sending you light and -

Peace,

IrishEyes

#17 elinda0844

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Posted 15 March 2014 - 08:45 PM

wow that was one of the most beautiful things I read Irisheyes. wow it touched my heart and I am smiling for irishmyst. love and light to you all . I hope you find peace and comfort Irishmyst.:)

#18 IrishMyst04

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Posted 18 June 2014 - 03:01 PM

Hello,

I haven't been on here lately, but I noticed that my response IrishEyes is not showing up. I have no idea why. Did I hit cancel instead of send, did I delete it somehow? SO very odd.

Looking over what has been said before, I totally forgot about the dream I had. I wrote it down and will find the book and post it.

I am also going to re read all this again and give thought into my response to you irishEyes. I do know that before I responded to you in Feb, I was afraid to do so and was not sure why. Did what you said scare me in some way, or hit too close to hime? I have no idea. I think I need to address this so I can move on. to say life has gone to hell in a hand basket would be an understatement, another auto immune disease has been diagnosed and friendships and family have been torn apart, and this Monday was what would have been Christopher's birthday. Why I feel the need to be the peace maker is beyond me, yet it is who I am.

Will get back ASAP.....

now where is that book I wrote the dream in lol

#19 IrishEyes

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Posted 18 June 2014 - 03:29 PM

Hi IrishMyst,

Happy to help any way that I can. If you have more questions for your sons, please let me know and I will tune in to see what they say.

Peace,

IrishEyes

#20 IrishMyst04

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Posted 03 December 2017 - 01:08 PM

My dear Irish Eyes,

First off I need to apologize to you. I really thought I had responded to you. I haven't been on here for a while, still struggling to find that inner balance and peace. Also have had A LOT of trouble signing in. My password just stopped working even though I knew it. Even today, it took a couple of tries to get in and I was typing the same password, strange to say the least.

The last couple of days have been extremely hard for me. Michael "officially" died on Dec 1 2012, but my daughter and I believe that Nov 31 is the day he died, as that was when my son (who had just got home from the Marines a month earlier) found him unconscious and blue lipped. He tried CPR for about 10 minutes before the police got there (ironically enough one of the policemen was a boy he had gone through school with from kindergarten to HS) and they tried to revive him for about 10 minutes before the EMTS and after a while they were able to get a faint heartbeat. This year his death is hitting us really bad, so to 'find" this again and to read your message has been for sure "Heaven sent".

The image that I pick up is you sitting at a kitchen table, thinking you are alone. In fact, both your sons sit with you at the tables
- one sits right up close to the table (the one with darker hair) while the other one (with lighter hair) sits far back from the table to have room for his legs. The message that I get for you is that you cannot see them, but they are certainly there with you. They understand how much you miss them - and they miss you too, seeing you in the physical and giving you a hug. But they are with you every day, in fact, you are really never alone.

I am always sitting at the kitchen table either reading, on my ipad or writing bills. It's funny, you described them EXACTLY as they sat in life. I sat at the head and Chris was always slouched to my left away from the table and Michael always sat to my right, close to the table and many times sat with his feet on the chair and his but almost touching the chair. My daughter (young, like 4 or 5) looked at him one day and said "Mikey sits like a monkey", which is how she got HER nickname.

I am wondering if you have done any past life work (I know Millie is a regression expert, may be you want to contact her for a session) because what they are telling me is that in a previous life, you were all warriors together, it looks like France, and you three were literally knights in armor. In that lifetime, you were brothers in arms, and you died to save them, so in that lifetime, you sacrificed your physical life to save theirs. Do you have any connections in this life to medieval France, or to knights? Were you ever fascinated by knights or armor? Because they are saying there is a thread there - and in this lifetime, you are still a renowned warrior, except now the battle is not against an obvious enemy.

This is very interesting, right after I read this the first time I read a book about the fighting Irish and I had such a deep connection to what I was reading. Could this be what you were seeing? It felt and still feels so true and right to me. In my head I hear, "damn right, i'd give my life for them". Yes, I feel like I am fighting a battle and more times than not I am sliding down a slippery slope.

do you know that people often think, "I can get through this thing - if she can keep going after those losses, I can certainly keep going through this little thing." You were a renowned and honored warrior in a previous life, and you still have that courage, that integrity, that noble spirit in this life. Your sons are with you - and so are 3 others from your family who have passed, these 3 look like parents/grandparents. They check in with you often too.

This is a beautiful thought that I can inspire others but more times than not I feel so alone, even somewhat estranged from my family who think all I have to do is just get over it and move on. The three people I think my be my father, grandmother (my moms mom) and my mother who died 5 months and a day after Christopher. I talk to them all the time, still waiting to get to that one time when they all surrounded me in a meadow a nd told me they were proud of me and that only I had the strength and belief in God to survive this. I pray they are right and there belief isn't misguided.

Regarding Michael - he is certainly more quiet than Christopher.

He was much quieter in life, I called him "My watcher" or Quiet Man" for a reason. WE could drive to Florida from NJ or go the Palm Springs in Ca and say very little. He allowed me to be the quiet introvert I was as a child and just be content in the silence. I miss that so much about him.

Did you recently buy flowers for him, or see flowers and think of him, because he holds out white roses to you and this is often a symbol for real flowers on the physical plane

OMG, you have no idea what this means to me. About two weeks after Michael died, I was getting into my son Stephens truck and as I was reaching to me right to get my seatbelt, I just stopped in stunned silence. Michael was our gardner around the house and planted most of the bushes, flowers and shrubs, but there in the MIDDLE of a cold spell in the middle of December in New Jersey was a fully formed perfect rose. I knew it was a sign from Michael (and I am getting goosebumps as I wrote that). Then in the beginning of March there was another rose but this one was a different color. Also, Millie did a guided meditation with me and as Michael was leaving, he and Christopher were standing under a rainbow (my signs from Christopher) Michael said I am making Heaven more beautiful for you and he held out an open palm, blew one it and a gorgeous bright blue flower fell into my lap.

He says he could not have picked a better Mom, and he is so very glad that he picked you! He also says that he heard every word that you said to him in the hospital - you spoke to him when he was a newborn, and you said something very similar when he was leaving this plane of existence, and all these words are a part of him, like they are written on his soul. When he sees you again on the next plane, he will get the chance to say them to you, and you will know its' really him - because he looks so much better now than when he passed, its rather unbelievable to him how well he looks now, and you will be amazed! He has been doing work on his soul, and learning how to recognize more goodness in people, and how to overcome addictions and needs to medicate - that will not be part of his existence from this time forward, and he owes you a huge thank you for giving him the lifetime that let him learn that! He has fought addiction/alcohol in the last 4 lifetimes, each one ending young on this plane, but this last life was the last time, and he is now preparing to be a counselor to the addicted, a guide for those seeking a way out of that dark hell. Without the lifetime you helped him to have, he could not do that, so many thanks Mom for everything, you have no idea how important this was to his soul work, or to the many thousands that he will help. What seems to be meaningless and wrong on this plane is translated into soul gifts and lessons on the next plane. He is sorry for the deep, deep pain that he caused you, that was never his intention, but is a marker of the very strong love between you both that can and will never die because you knew each other before you got here, and you will know each other again when you meet again.

Again, I have no words to how much this means to me. I want more than anything for both of them to be a peace. Never, ever did I believe it was a deliberate act on his part. We know for a fact that his "friends" did tamper with the heroin adding high blood pressure med, anti anxiety meds and a few other things into that batch that was given to him. The doctors, nurses and police all told us that there was not enough heroin in his system to do anything to him. It was all the other stuff along with his seizure meds that really did him in.

Christopher is talking about your knees - are you taking good care of your knees? That is his issue with you. He's grateful that you are taking better care of yourself, but please get more advice/a second opinion about your knee or knees - there are injections now that can help and mean that you don't have to have the big surgery if you don't want to. And please please please go out with the girls and have time out of the house - it's great to hear you laugh and to see you in company again, and hey, if a nice man comes over and says hi, know that Christopher nudged him and gave him some courage, and he's OK, really!

This is cool. Yes my one knee still bothers me quite a bit, but I gave up on the doctors when they said nothing was wrong and they couldn't/didn't see when I told him that under my right knee, under where they did the surgery on it, there was a puffy swollen mass, for lack of a better word. But they saw nothing and so I stopped going. I have however, lost 35 lbs from last time this year so I am hoping it gets better and was just too weight on my knees. I do have great friends, one in particular loved both of them so very much but maybe Michael a little bit more and misses them almost as much as I do. On Nov 31 she went out with my son Stephen and Brittany and myself to a local Happy hour to remember, honor and toast MIchael. He would have been proud of her as she wanted to do something crazy that would make Michael laugh or do something crazy that he would have done. He had such a zany dark sense of humor. I declined the stripping outside of Ruth's Chris though.. But she did what she set out to do, make us laugh through our tears.


They send you lots of love, and if you cannot see them around you, please know that they can see and hear you, and please keep talking to them. They are both working on ways to let you know that they are around - I think Christopher will nudge people to approach you and Michael will use flowers, and flowers in strange places, and surprise gifts of flowers to keep letting you know of his presence and his love.

This is so very very true. Christopher's friends I am sad to say want nothing to do with us, they may remember Christopher in there own way, but they never contact us at all. Michael's friends (all those crazy kids whom people had written off years ago as people who would never amount to anything) are the ones that have more love in their hearts than anyone I know. They NEVER forget, they always love and remember BOTH my children. On the anniversaries of their deaths and even there birthdays, I get bouquets of flowers from them. They stop by (and stay all night) but they come to be with us on these days. Michael's legacy are the friends he left behind. Karens son tony though is having a much harder time with his death and I worry about him. He told me in a text this year that he blames himself for not stopping Michael's death and I try so hard to make him understand that he was the best friend he could have been. These two truly grew up together from playpen to grown ups, they finished each others sentences and knew when the other was hurting. I just pray for peace for him.

Truly, you are never alone. And you are very much loved. And you are a beacon of courage in a world that needs it very muc

This is too beautiful for words and my heart is filled. Thank you so much, I needed to hear and see this.

Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart, and you NEVER walk alone.

I LOVE this song and play it a LOT.

THANK you, thank you so very much.

Funny, I really thought I had responded to you and right before I answered this I was looking for a dream I had posted a couple of months ago and that I know I posted because of how strange it was and I can't find that post either. Very strange.

Please know I would never ignore you and I feel bad that it is now three years later..

Can you no longer preview what you write? forgive any and all typos since I can't find the preview button.




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